Living Life by Design

“It’s just not right”.

It’ took those honest words from a 7-year-old for the family to change what they were doing.

Several years ago I watched an episode from a PBS show called American Family. The family, realizing the rooms in their father’s house were in dire need of painting, decided to get he family together for a day of painting. They selected bright and cheery paint colors. They assigned who was responsible for each room. They came prepared and ready to roll on painting day.

Yet, as they began to apply the bright new cheerful colors, their smiles slowly faded. They tried harder, painted faster, but their enthusiasm waned. It took the 7 year-old grandson to speak the truth of what they were feeling. “It’s just not right”, he said. “Yeah, it doesn’t feel right,” admitted the oldest daughter. The grandfather, trying to go along with it all, pulled his grandson close.

You see, it was their grandmother’s colors that were on the walls before they started painting. Even though she was no longer with them, the bright new cheerful colors were doing just the opposite. The new colors just didn’t fit the house as they knew it. One by one, each family member admitted to what they were feeling. It needed to be painted, but it needed to be painted the same colors. So off they went. They found the same colors and painted the walls, bringing smiles to their faces and filling the rooms with laughter. They finished the day feeling whole and renewed.

As I pondered this rather simple, yet truth-revealing story, I wondered how many times we try to paint over what is really going on inside of us, in an attempt to move on. We try the bright, cheery smiles. We do our best to look ok to the rest of the world, yet inside our hearts ache. In an attempt to be accepted and to feel better about ourselves we go along with the crowds. We try the latest thing. We conform to what others are doing and to what we think is socially acceptable—thinking if we can just be ‘accepted’ by the right people or the right number of people we will feel better about ourselves. Our days will be brighter. Yet we find that our days only get busier, our lives just more complicated.

The 7-year-old voice inside of us speaks ever so softly, yet so truthfully. “It’s just not right.” Maybe it’s right for someone else, but it’s not right for me.

It’s not so much about making the wrong choice but about what we will do when we realize we “it’s just not right.” We need to go back. Explore why it doesn’t work for us. Learn more about ourselves. Get rid of the cover-up. Then move on—fully being who we really are. Then the smiles return, the laughter fills the air, and we feel whole and renewed.

It’s not a cover-up that the world needs; it needs each of us being who we really are.

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