It’s been a stretching week. There have been a couple of times in my life where I had to fully face the reality of life and death. Once was a year and a half ago when my 22 year old nephew was suddenly taken from us in a car accident. The anguish, the sorrow, the grief, and the questions that one is forced to journey through in dealing with that is life-changing. This week I had a similar opportunity.
A good friend was diagnosed with cancer. For several days we didn’t know 1) how much cancer, 2) if she would make it through the emergency surgery they recommended, and 3) how much longer she would be with us. She came through the surgery amazingly well. They believe they got all the cancer. And, she is still with us. Yet, in reality, we don’t know how much longer. And neither do we know how much longer we have with any of our beloved family members and friends.
For those that have walked a similar journey, these experiences stick with us for the rest of our lives. It is my hope that as we navigate the difficult paths, we pick up nuggets of insights that change us forever. Below are a couple of those nuggets for me.
Every family member, every friend is a gift.
It seems once I get to know someone or they are a part of my family, I get this attitude that I have a right to them. Not necessarily in a possessive sense, but the attitude that says how dare they be taken from us too early. Yet, they entered our lives as a gift. May I hold my family and friends openly – cherishing the moments with them as I would a gift. Yet, not demanding that the gift is mine. The gift is to cherish, not to horde.
Sorrow, grief and pain are realities of life. Learning to express and embrace these emotions make us whole.
As a culture we tend to want to push aside or bury or ignore the depth of the emotions we or someone close to us may experience. It scares us. It feels like we might not be able to recover. It might take me to a place where I can’t come back. Yet, it is only by going to those depths of emotion that we can fully recover and come out whole on the other side. Yes, we will be forever changed, but may we allow the depths of the emotions work their purpose, so the change is positive and even allows us to reach out more to those around us.
Those are just two of the nuggets of insights from walking these life-changing moments. What about you? How have similar experiences changed you?
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