Somewhere between the ages of 40 and 50, most people give up on their grandest dreams, put aside their highest hopes, and settle for their lowest expectations…or nothing at all.
-from a book by Neale Donald Walsch
That quote takes my breath away. If that is midlife crisis, then I am a believer in midlife crisis.
It takes my breath away because I find myself understanding that reality. My immediate response was “that’s me!” Then, I rationalized it. “No, that’s not me. I’m not settling for the lowest expectation or nothing at all. I’ll settle for something in-between—not grand, but not the lowest either.”
Rationalizing is a truth-teller. Often we rationalize to make ourselves feel better about something we know isn’t quite right.
What level of expectations are we settling for?
No Expectations
Do you have expectations of yourself? Or, is life just “whatever happens, happens”? If you’re in this camp, I challenge you to expect more of yourself. Indeed, you do have something unique to offer to those around you, something that we need. What might that be?
High Expectations, No Action
What conversation have you had over and over – either with yourself, with God, or with others – conversations about what you’d like to do – yet nothing is moving in that direction? What baby steps can you take today, this week, to move in that direction? What are you learning today that may apply to what you’d really like to do? Sometimes we think the dream is too big to do anything, yet no dream has been accomplished without initial baby steps at the beginning.
If we are in either of these two camps—no expectations or high expectations and no action—we are disappointing ourselves, and disappointing people around us.
But I don’t think either of these two options explain what took my breath away when I read the quote above. What took my breath away was the stark realization that I was falling into another ‘category’.
Some Expectations, Some Action
I wasn’t settling for nothing at all, but I also wasn’t fully pursuing my ‘grandest’ dreams. I wanted to ‘check out’ from the ‘grandest’ dreams and settle for something less, something that still looks good, something that still kind of matches up to the ‘grandest’ dream – but maybe wasn’t quite so hard to attain. Mediocrity. Average. Acceptable.
I don’t think that will cut it.
Aligned Expectations, Aligned Action
I think it is in this category where we truly experience living fully. Pursuing expectations aligned with our design and taking action aligned with our design.
Where are you in the continuum of pursuing your ‘grandest’ dreams – those dreams most in alignment with your unique design?
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